This World Is Not My Home

Some days, three months seems like forever, and other days, three months
seems like it's gonna pass by so fast! Well, Friday was one of those
days that three months felt like forever away. I went to the market in
the afternoon, and visited a friend, but for some reason wanted to be
alone. After the market, I got home to my 14 year old brother crying.
My brother's name is Koustoge, and a few years back his dad had been
married to three women, but after he became a Christian and realized
that it was wrong, he only kept his first wife, who is the lady I live
with now. But Koustoge is from the second wife, and isn't treated the
same as all the other kids. He works more, and gets less. He told me
that he never goes hungry, so that is good, but he also feels like a
stranger in this family. A couple weeks ago, Monique hit him because
the water for my shower wasn't warm yet, and he told me later that his
heart hurts him every time he gets hit, and that he doesn't want to live
here anymore. Friday night he was also crying because he got hit. The
older sister hit him because he didn't get water from the well fast
enough...or something like that. I was angry that she would do that,
but no one else seemed to care. They went on eating and talking, as of
nothing happened. I was so angry, so I went off by myself and watched a
small bush fire that was burning nearby. Three kids from my family and
the mom all came over to see if I was ok...why can't you do this for
your own children? I am a stranger and you treat me more like family
than Koustoge! He has been living there for over 10 years, can't you
just love him like he's your son! Well, after my tears, praying, and
frustration, I went back to the compound to Monique crying. Her brother
had just died a few minutes earlier in another village. She had just
come back from a funeral of one of our neighbors who died during child
birth, and she's gone to two or three for her family. They see so much
pain here, why would they care about the child who was just beaten, he's
still alive isn't he? Well, I was overwhelmed and tired, so after my
shower under heaven I went to bed.

Sabbath brought it's own challenges. One of the ladies at a Sabbath
school branch that just started a few months ago said that she didn't
want people coming to her house anymore to tell these stories. The
white people weren't helping her with food and money, and local people
were giving her a hard time about it, so she just wanted it to stop.
Well, some people went and talked to her, and straightened things out a
bit, but it was a little discouraging. Later in the afternoon one of
the SMs here finally broke down because her family isn't feeding her
good, and she's always hungry, and they lie about why they don't have
food for her when she pays them some good money. She's been working
hard trying to help them keep Sabbath, and this was just the last little
thing that broke her. Some of this stuff really isn't a big deal, but
when you struggle with language, you work hard all day, and have to eat
weird food all the time, the smallest things can get to you. It was at
lunch that I realized that Satan was working to discourage us. So often
I just look at things and think that it's just life, so we should go
with the flow. But it's not just life, it's a battle over souls.
Through most of the weekend I wanted to be home with my family. I
longed for the day that I arrive at the airport and finally get to hug
them and see them in person. But I realized that I should be longing
for heaven in the same way. This world is not my home, I'm just passing
through, so I better not get too comfortable, because that's just where
the devil wants me. He wants me to be comfortable where I am, so that I
don't long for where I could be. The Great Controversy is real, and it
doesn't always come out in demon possession, or witchcraft, but in
subtle things that discourage us, or things that keep us from looking to
God. In those times, it's important to remember that this world isn't
our home, but before we can all go home, we have to tell everyone about
how amazing God is.

It's Simple

Today Gary flew into Bendele with the biggest plane that has come to
this part of Tchad! It was amazing! Everyone was so excited, all the
kids coming around, parents coming to the airstrip to see this amazing
piece of metal! I now know that I've been here for quite a while,
because even I was jumping up and down from all the joy inside my soul.
My friend Freddy is a very educated man, and has traveled and studied
in Cameroon, but this was still the biggest plane that he has seen! This
plane could seat 14 people!!! I know this sounds kinda pathetic to all
you reading this, but it was amazing! I felt as though this was the
biggest plane that I had ever seen.

Life here is so simple, that even the little things like a small plane
bring such joy and excitement. Here we cook over a fire or charcoal,
get water with a bucket from a well, and rest under the stars every
night. We laugh at all the little things, dance when we're happy, and
take life as we go. I see the sun rise and set everyday, and I see kids
running around pushing tires or pot lids with a stick, playing soccer,
or just having fun in the sand. They don't need the newest toy from
walmart when they can make a toy from leaves and a stick...they're
happy. We have so much here. The smallest gift of time is so special
and treasured, and visiting someone is a big deal. To pass time the
people play drums, talk, laugh, eat, and...talk. Their lives are still
very hard; women work in the fields in the morning, and that evening are
giving birth to their 13th child. People still look like they're 90
when they're only 50, and people die of sickness and poverty all the
time, but despite all the hardships that they face, they are still
content with life.

I gave my family glow in the dark stars for Christmas, and the other
night we all put them up in their house. All of the kids were there
putting their hands in my face trying to get a star to put up on the
wall. The mom was even in there pushing her kids out of the way or
taking the stars from them so that she could help put up the stars.
Something so small, but yet so amazing! That's how I think it is with
God. He gives us the little things in life that show us how amazing He
really is. He doesn't want us to be filled with the things of this
world that distract us, but He wants us to be filled with Him, and to be
content with the little things of this world that He has created for us!

This life really is too short, and filled with so much stuff...but I
serve a God who reaches to us in our clutter, and simply gives.

The Season For Tears

"To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under
heaven...a time to be born, and a time to die...a time to weep, a time
to laugh, a time to mourn, and a time to dance." Ecc. 3:1,2,4

Today saw a lot of tears. I wish that I could poetically tell you
about life, but I'm finding out that there's a lot of things that just
aren't beautiful or poetic about this life. Today was one of those
un-poetic days for us here in Tchad. This morning Dr. James Appel's 6
month old son Adam died from malaria. It was so unexpected, because he
was doing better when he first went on quinine, but on his second round
of quinine, it was too much for his little body and he seized and died.
This whole day felt as though everything here should stop. I would look
at people carrying on with life and just want them to stop and see what
happened, and cry with us. But death happens here all the time, it's a
part of life, so why should everyone stop for this? But everyone around
us did stop and feel the pain that the day had brought. I just saw a
happy boy eating yesterday, and today I saw Sarah holding his lifeless
little body. They canceled church here, and all the people came and sat
in a circle chanting all morning, while people went in and saw the baby
and James and trying to comfort him. We had a lunch and prepared the
English part of the funeral, which consisted of verses and songs that
James and Sarah wanted to have, and than Jonathan had a little talk
prepared. Gary and Wendy flew in from a different part of Tchad,
because a few years ago they went through the same thing when they lost
their son Caleb to malaria, so they came to share in the pain of this
loss. During the service they sat right in front of me, holding this
little bundle that had brought them so much joy, and now their hearts
were filled with pain. She held him and stroked his face as though he
was still alive, and as she looked on his little face hers was filled
with tears. While James held Sarah, Gary and Wendy were right there to
comfort and mourn with them. The Tchadians continued with chanting
until they placed him in his little blue casket and put him in the
ground. Part of me felt a bit of anger at the people, why couldn't they
just let us sing our songs that we actually understood, and let us feel
how we know how to feel, instead of chanting and such. The service
ended with the sun setting, such a beautiful ending to such a broken
day. A day so numbing, and so long, but so short. The longer I try
living on this earth the more I see that life is so short, and that sin
is so real, but God is so powerful! He tell is in Isaiah 25:8 that "He
will swallow up death forever, and the Lord God will wipe away tears
from all faces; the rebuke of His people he will take away from all the
earth; for the Lord has spoken." I ask that you guys keep James and
Sarah in your prayers, and the work that God has here for them. I know
some of you reading this might ask why he would even bring his babies
here to Tchad, but God has called each of us, and for some, following
God comes with great sacrifice and loss, but the reward is even greater
than any loss we experience here on this earth. I pray that we are all
able to follow Christ, no matter what the cost.